Who, what... why!?!?

The idea behind this blog has been growing over the last few years and we'll see where it goes.  While I'm not sure how "clever" I am, "clean mama" was already taken from - surprise - a cleaning blogger.  From the time of my first pregnancy (or to some degree throughout my whole life!) I have found myself on an unplanned journey to "clean things up" in all senses of the word.  As I've navigated pregnancy, breastfeeding and now raising two little guys in a world overrun by parenting tips, mom blogs and product overload, it's blown me away how PRETTY.MUCH.EVERYTHING can be a source of harmful toxins.  I'm being slightly dramatic of course but striving for cleaner living for my family sometimes seems like an uphill battle.  I certainly don't do it perfectly and I don't do it all the time.  Yes my toddler eats Chik fil a nuggets from time to time (as do I!) and, yes, my infant plays some with Baby Einstein and Skip Hop branded toys.  While I'm not one of the moms looking for a strict paleo refined-sugar free 1st birthday smash cake recipe, cleaner living across the board has still become a goal.  I like to think of the 80/20 rule as a gauge for cutting myself a break too.   

 

I suppose my cleaner living journey "officially" began in 2016 during my pregnancy with my now 3 year old son, Parker.  Since I'm also a pediatric speech language pathologist, the cause and effect relationships of products, foods and environmental exposure on pregnancy and breastfeeding became fascinating to me.  All of a sudden everything I ate, put on my skin.... even BREATHED.... could potentially impact the development of my sweet new baby.  That was a lightbulb moment.  I learned there were clear links between a mother's diet (and other choices) while a baby was in utero and breastfeeding with some developmental delays, skin issues, allergies, hyperactivity, and more.  This hit home as I wanted desperately to do everything within my power to give my kids a healthy start.  With SO MUCH about pregnancy and parenting completely out of my control, I wanted to be informed over that which I did have control... as little as that may be.  And so the journey began.  

I also have a fabulous husband who's already had "less than stellar" bloodwork (from unhealthier days in his past) so his health has also become a top priority.  As I devour labels, products reviews, recipes, blogs and groups aimed at reducing toxins, I continue to see more friends and family receive cancer diagnoses and other troubling health conditions.  This barrage of information can be overwhelming, but it also fuels a personal call to action to make healthier choices where I can.  Information is power and when you know better you do better, ideally.  

I'm also super passionate about all the lifestyle areas that become harder and evolve with motherhood -- self care, spirituality and faith, work/life balance, relationships  -- all the deeper stuff.  My youngest son, Chase, just turned 5 months old.  Praise the Lord we are past the 4 month sleep regression!  While I've stopped agonizing over every infant sleep expert and facebook group out there,  I haven't quite figured out my "new mom" identity.  That's still one I'm working on and partly why I'm starting to blog.  Sharing my feelings, experiences and even practical stuff around health goals and cleaner living fills a creative void and connects me with a community of other mothers and likeminded people.  Many of us newer moms go through this identity crisis, I'm told.  

Oh right -- that's something that I struggle with -- terminal uniqueness.  I think I'm the "only" mom who feels these things or has these struggles:  feeling both uprooted and overjoyed with a love you didn't know existed yet at times feeling exhausted, unsettled and just downright resentful.  All the while, recognizing that you should only feel gratitude for the gift of motherhood since it's unattainable to some and even riddled with heartache and loss for so many others.  That "I'm the only mom who x, y and z" stuff can be a beast! 

Since I'm prone to rambling, I will save those topics for another time.  Whether I only post a few things or this forum continues, the vulnerability of blogging is also an exercise in suspending judgement of what people think, walking through fear (which I like to think of as False Evidence Appearing Real) and also, on a lighter note, time management.  Time management seems to be another doozy for balance seeking mothers!  

So why again do I want to blog on this stuff?  Since my toxin-reducing journey as a health/wellness seeking mama (that's a mouthful!) hasn't always seemed easy, sharing with other moms gives me gratitude.  Plus contributing to the solution of cleaner living for anyone gives me a larger sense of gratification.  On a lighter note, I've already got some good recipes that I want to share the next time I post so it looks like there will at least be a second installment!